I like morning kisses, I dreamt of lust
I never had you and you never had me
We never had each other, and yet..
Turn off the light and hear my voice
there's a gap between us
It sucked us in and we lost
It's dark.. so dark.
I can feel your hand touching mine
I can't see you
but I know you are with me
A curse joined us eternally
It's you and me and the void.
This is a page containing extracts from the diary I kept during the Vuoto Tour in 2007.
It was extraordinary times in so many
ways and really.. really overpowering.
I thought I 'd share it with you.
Venice, 5th of July
“Piazza S.Marco, 5000 people.
So it begins .. we arrived on a boat.
This city is so beautiful, I love the way it's reflected on the sea that embraces this haunted place.
There are many seats in front of the stage..
but they are not for us.
My stomach dropped .. it seems I have ended up in a parallel universe.
We met lots of people on stage, the guys in Franco's band seems nice, although they look at us weird at times, are we weird?
We knew nothing of what we were doing tonight,
I learned some vocal lines in less then 5 minutes and there I was singing on stage, my legs were shaking .. this is unreal.
Steve is one of the stage technicians, he's English and It felt like home, he made us laugh tonight.
He said that the sound was kinda crappy and Marina was giving birth to a radio!
We must find a better way to attach these radios...”
Carpi, 09-13th of July
"Hotel Villa Richeldi, room 101.
We came here after a few relaxing days off in Milan where we stayed at the Hotel Mennini where my sleepless nights have not been helped by the softness of my pillow.
A real hard rock stone, Jessica suggests it might be filled with vulture feathers.. or fountain pens.
Breakfast was not worth waking up for.
Here is a whole new level.
This wonderful place is the perfect balance between past and present, a reminiscence of royalty, unbridled wealth,
a life I never lived .. or did I?
We are here for rehearsals, we will know at last what we have to do.
It's not easy, there is distrust and little cohesion, little confidence.
The technical conditions need to be improved, it's such a different world.
The Comunale Theatre is breathtaking.
I am facing this empty room with an open microphone caressing my lips.
I hear my voice vibrate and fill the stalls, it's nice when the sound is able to silence my thoughts.
Today I bought a guitar in a book store.
I cannot exist without having a guitar with me, I need her.
Yeah well come on, everybody was making fun of me about it but I don't care.
I must fill the downtimes, and they are so many.
The hollow is creeping in again.
He listens to me and makes me laugh. But I'm not sure it's the attention I need right now. "
Turin, 14th of July
“This is the first official tour date and it's at the TRAFFIC festival in Turin organised by SUBSONICA.
They are absolutely brilliant!
I took a peek hidden behind the stage, it's terrifying.
After some time in preparation I started to relax and all those screams and voices now seem so far away.
That sea of people seems to be one giant single mass.
I'm not afraid anymore.
I was waiting for our time.
I grabbed my bass, I held it tight (they dropped him today and my heart sunk), there was a signboard in the crowd and it was for us.
We played PURE.
It 's been such a strong flow of adrenaline, I suddenly recalled the reason of my whole existence.
It reminds me that I'm alive.
It brings us together, binds us strongly.
nd then reality comes back in and we are distant again.
He keeps me company.
Sometimes he says strange things.
I'm having rushes of great euphoria and episodes of profound absence.. it's very tiring.
I do not know what I am anymore or what I'm supposed to be.”
Vulci, 15th of July
“There's so much dust here.
The stage is covered in dust, we are surrounded by dust.
And mosquitoes. So many mosquitoes.
It's so hot and my clothes are sticking to my skin.
Our dressing room is just next to the stage and it's made from iron structures lined with PVC panels.
Inside it's like hell, but we must get ready, and fast!
The opening act is Roberto Cacciapaglia accompanied by Japanese cellist Yuriko.
She is so lovely, such a gentle and humble soul and impeccable musician.
The audience is seated. This is the first time we play in front of a seated audience.
'Have you transformed into MAB yet?' ask the boys.
After the opening Yuriko has left the stage in tears, upset by the reaction of the audience who was clapping and whistling.
She thought they were booing and that they didn't like the performance, but we tried to calm her down by explaining that in Italy some times the crowd whistles loudly but it is an act of appreciation.
She was not convinced.
The ladies sitting in the front row looked puzzled at the sight of my torn
tights and bare feet.
We played ARIA and they seemed to like it anyway.
'Franco! Are you a prize!' shouted someone in the crowd 'Have you mistaken me for a Panettone?' Replied Franco with a smile.
He's such a gentleman. His smile is so lovely.”
Sesto Fiorentino, 16th of July
“We are spending the night at the Hotel Villa Stanley, room 110.
Here is really beautiful, every time I'm in Tuscany I fall in love with it again and I promise myself that one day I will buy a home here.
Life on the road has a strange monotony.
Every day is different but the same as every other day at the same time.
You hop on the bus, look at the landscape rushing by the window, chat a little bit, wait, listen to music and tickle the strings of the guitar, it's like a high school trip.
Pause for a wee-wee, coffee, lunch, then you get where you are supposed to get to, check in to the hotel, have a quick nap and then straight to the sound check.
The scenery changes but everything quickly becomes a routine, and you are not surrounded by your own things.
It's like being on vacation but you're at work, you are free, but a prisoner in a golden cage.
It's always you, you on tour, you playing music, but not the same you that you left behind when leaving.
That one is at home waiting and tells you: when you'll come back you'll miss it and you'll wish you could be there on the road again rather than here.
Yes, but the other you would like to have some peace and quiet at times, just for a moment, to make sense of it all.
It's like two different identities which join together again when
I close my eyes.
Sometimes I can't breathe at night.
I know this is not real, we are guests in somebody else's dream, this is not ours.
Maybe we could have a portion of it ourselves, They make promises like this and it's really tempting at times.
They play with our desires, our fragility and our tiredness.
The price for it all is very costly and I don't think we have the resources to pay for it.”